I Love Lucy

Have you ever had an I Love Lucy day? I just had one. My worst I Love Lucy day ever. Basically it sucked. (Good thing my mom doesn't read this to see my dirty language.) Tomorrow, or I guess today, is going to be worse--when Ricky finds out. So here's the back story. Five years and two months ago, I heard the unhappy news that someone had bought us a table and chairs at a garage sale. I won't name the person, but she played a big role in bringing Leo to life. I was still unwed at this point and happily picking up used and free items for my apartment. The key point in that last sentence was "I". Anyway, I went to go see them and I literally started crying (night shift, part-time college, and planning a wedding can do that to you). They were abhorrent. First of all, it was a glass table top. I hate those. And then it was this ugly, chunky, metal, tubular frame with matching ugly, tubular, metal chairs. I cried hysterically. It was not a pretty crying, it was Kami, emotionally unbalanced crying. I begged, *BEGGED* Leo to let us get rid of them. He wouldn't budge. Apparently, that's a cultural thing--you don't return gifts in Colombia, and it would have horribly offended the giver and since we did need a table and chairs, he saw no practical reason to get rid of them. Chalk that one up as a learning experience of if your wife isn't happy she'll never let it die. Ever. Actually, I thought I've been pretty graceful about it. Besides threatening to let the glass get broken every time we move and almost tossing it out of the house one time when I was the most mad at Leo that I had ever been (not one of my better moments, I assure you), I didn't mention it...much.

But lately, it's been bugging the heck out of me. I think in part because the seats of the chairs are shredding so it looks even more hideous. Also, with Elena being a busy two year old, it is never free of finger prints. Not even fingerprints, large smear marks are constantly covering it, no matter how many times I wash it--on the bottom as well as the top. Plus, I'm just tired of being on hold. I'm tired of waiting for the adoption to go through. I'm tired of waiting for Leo to find a new job. I'm tired of waiting to move. I'm tired of listening to Reggaeton blast down from the neighbors upstairs. I tired of having the bass of our neighbor's R&B and Hip Hop music thumping so loudly that the nails are coming out through the paint in the wall adjoining our apartments. I am tired of having empty planters in my apartment because spending money on plants is impractical. I tired of feeling guilty every time I do buy something impractical. Maybe if I had a timeline, for instance, if I knew in six months from now we would be living someplace else, with a new job, then I could plan for that and have more patience. But six months ago I thought that we would already have been moved by now and I have no guarantee of anything changing. I'm was tired of waiting to buy a new table.

So I bought one. At Ikea. It was a floor model and on sale half off. It's beautiful. I love it. It makes me happy just to look at it. Now picture Lucy trying to explain to Ricky why she did what she just did when she knows they have no money for it, even at half off. (Really, there's no justifiable argument there.) Now picture Lucy trying to unload a fully assembled beautiful floor model table from her minivan by herself and gouging the heck out of it, pretty much completely ruining it. Now picture Lucy trying to explain that to Ricky.