What I've Learned About Becoming A U.S. Citizen

So I don't know who all knows this but I'm actually a naturalized citizen of the United States. Yep, I was born in Canada, a good 90 miles (that is 145 kilometers) north of the border. I became a U.S. citizen in 1998 when I was 17 yrs. old. That's a good thing because then I didn't have to take the test they require for citizenship. My little sister Kayli, my little brother Wyatt and I all took the oath in this little office in the Minot North Dakota International Airport. And to tell you the truth we were all trying not to giggle throughout the whole thing. (Okay, I should state right here that I don't mean to offend anyone by this post, and I do try to be a little entertaining so I do take some of this stuff a little lighthearted.) Really though, if you've never heard this oath, it's a bit funny to think of it in context with Canada (because Canada is such a subversive country). Please stop humming "Blame Canada" in your head now. Here it is in all its entirety for anyone interested. Or you can just skip over it.

"I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce and abjure all allegiance and fidelity to any foreign prince, potentate, state, or sovereignty of whom or which I have heretofore been a subject or citizen; that I will support and defend the Constitution and laws of the United States of America against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform noncombatant service in the Armed Forces of the United States when required by the law; that I will perform work of national importance under civilian direction when required by the law; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me God."

So anyway, when I naturalized my dear fat old geyser of a father (he signs all his emails FOG for short) did all the paperwork and paid all the fees. I just showed up to take the oath. However, when I married Leo, he was a Colombian citizen, born and raised. Which led to me learning a lot about the immigration process.Let me enter another little clause here, just because I'm mentioning something here doesn't mean it directly applies to Leo. I've lived in New Mexico, Arizona, and Florida; all big immigration states and I think because of being married to Leo, people open up to me and tell me a little more of their own immigration stories that they might not have otherwise. Also, my mom asked me when she came to visit, "Are you the only white girl living in this apartment complex?" Which by the way, I'm not, but mostly the others are Polish. I also hear a lot from Leo who hears even more because, well, he is Latino.
Here's what I've learned now that I could practically be an immigration lawyer. First of all, you don't need an immigration lawyer if you can read English and are halfways intelligent. Yep, the U.S. Immigration website pretty much has all the information you could possibly need. It might take a while to find it, but it's there. And they have "how to" files for every form pretty much. My brothers-in-law who don't have wonderful and talented wives like me, pay big dollars for an immigration lawyer every time they have to send something in, and the lawyers have messed it up a couple times anyway. I've never messed up any of Leo's paperwork. I do have to admit though, that the first time we sent in the initial paperwork for Leo's greencard we did go to Fuente Mission, a low cost immigration service center. They only charged $300 or $400 for preparing most of the initial documents. Which I have to say is extremely good. Some people have told me they were charged upwards $3000-4000 by immigration lawyers. After that, I've done all of Leo's paperwork. Recently I filled out his parents' paperwork too, based on Leo's citizenship. My tips include: keep very good records, you'll have to send in copies of taxes, housing leases, bank statements, marriage license, childrens' birth certificates, etc. over and over again; and if you're a male, age 18-25 register for the Selective Service whether you're legal or not. You have to send in proof of that over and over as well.

So how does the process go? Well, first you have to either marry a U.S. citizen, win a lottery from your country, join the military, or have your work sponsor you, etc. I know several people that have made "arrangements" for marriage (One Filipino nurse I knew lived with her "husband" and paid all his housing expenses plus a stipend each month until she became a citizen.) I don't recommend that. Basically I don't recommend doing anything illegal actually (imagine that). However, I do empathize and probably would try to come to the United States legally or otherwise if I was in some of the situations I've heard from people. Moving on...

Marriage is how Leo applied, and also my two brothers' wives who are both from our neck of the woods up in Canada. (My dad's work sponsored him for the curious.) Anyway, then you file a whole mass of paperwork. You have a medical done too. If you entered the States legally but stayed after your visa expired you have to pay an extra fine. If you entered illegally, then you're in too deep of water for me and you probably should get an immigration lawyer and pray immigration reform passes. Then after they process all of that and we paid large amounts of money, we had to go in to "prove" that we really were married and it wasn't just an arrangement. My little brother's daughter won the day for them. I brought in my wedding scrapbook which impressed the immigration officer enough that she called in another worker to come look at it and joked about keeping my name to hire me to make hers. YES! Scrapbooking IS good for something!! With that you eventually get a conditional "Resident Alien" card. Three years later you can apply to be a standard alien and remove the condition. At this point you can apply for citizenship or you can divorce your wife and then wait two more years and then apply for citizenship. Oh, each time you send anything in, you have to have your biometrics taken, in case your fingerprints have somehow morphed. Once your citizenship application has been processed, you take a civics test which includes questions like, "Who is the President of the United States?" and you have to prove you can read and speak English. Leo was a little worried, but he managed to read the sentence, "The President lives in the White House" just fine. Then it's just a matter of taking the oath. Leo takes it on August 27th!!! YEAH!!!!! I'll have to do a modified version of this for Ana too in a couple of years. (A child has to be adopted for two years before their citizenship can be processed.)

I also plan on getting my kids' Canadian citizenship as well. Technically, I renounced my Canadian citizenship when I became American. But Canada doesn't recognize that so as soon as I'm on Canadian soil--or if I was traveling on a Canadian passport--I'd be considered Canadian. This leads to the fun game of driving across the border with my cousin on his quad going "Now you're Canadian, now you're American." (I also like to tell my Mexican friends that I've canoed across thee border.) Basically, I think it's cool that my kids could be three nationalities, although traveling on a Colombian passport might slow them down a bit at airports.