Sanctuary

Well, here it is. The long, long story of my grueling last two weeks. Basically the week before was the most stressful in my entire life. Having surgery was a breeze in comparison. Moving was preferable, in fact, giving birth to Elena was preferable--which actually leads right in to what happened. Two Fridays ago, my mother-in-law, Martha called telling me about the reoccurring problems with her sister and how she was worried about her daughter, Ana, and how she had convinced her sister to give Ana up for adoption. Right then, I knew. Yep, she wanted Leo and I to adopt Ana. She didn't tell me then (I knew she wouldn't), she waited to talk to Leo when he came back from his trip. I warned Leo, he brushed it off in an unbelieving manner. Sure enough, that's what she wanted. Initially, I was livid, we are not that financially secure right now, I don't want to go back to work and I am trying to find ways not to; that really is a lot to ask of someone. I'm still fuming thinking about it. Leo and I decided it was such a serious matter though that we'd better not just brush it off. So we fasted, and prayed, and decided no, and went to the temple. And I felt what I felt before we made the decision--distraught. So then several more days went by feeling absolutely sick and well, distraught. And then I decided yes, I guess we could take her, and then I felt calm and at peace. However, I am still very anxious and worried about long term consequences and short term finances. But, I guess I have to put that all in the Lord's hands. So then this past Thursday I flew down to Arizona and picked up Ana and signed a POA form with her mother and then flew back today, and supposedly her mother is signing severance papers tomorrow at my lawyer's office, and then I could start the adoption process, only Ana's father (who was never married to her mother) is on the birth certificate and we have to try to hunt him down to sign severance paperwork, and he's in Colombia. Sigh. Well, anyway, Ana seems happy.

Oh, and then it was like the twilight zone on Sunday in Arizona, because they had their Primary program in Sacrament meeting and sang Love is Spoken Here, so afterward this lady who used to babysit Ana a lot and is quite attatched to her came up and hugged my and started crying and thanking me for taking Ana, and told me how hearing and seeing Ana sing that song made her cry in sacrament meeting and anyway it was just weird, because really I still have very mixed emotions about the whole thing so it just made me vastly uncomfortable. And then my mother-in-law was sobbing all through the program too, which I was sitting right beside her and again it made me vastly uncomfortable. I really hate icky emotional sobbing, probably more so because I do that quite frequently (but mostly at a certain time of the month--so I don't count that as my normal personality, just a freak of nature). The only one with any sense was the Relief Society president who told me about her friend who just adopted two little girls from Russia and said the first year was extremely rough, and then she said to get a lot of priesthood blessings. I think that's very solid advice. And then, the lesson in the combined Sunday School was on adoption.

Life is crazy.

But I'm home now. Martha and Amy wanted me to stay longer in Arizona, but I just couldn't, I was missing Leo insanely much and I just wanted to be home, in my sanctuary. Which was even nicer because Leo cleaned it all before I came home.

In other news, in the midst of all this my sister Kayli came to visit, which I feel bad because I'm sure I would have enjoyed it much more and been more companionable without the afore-mentioned situation. And then that first week I babysat this annoying little boy for 12+ hours every day which really made me not want to have any more kids at all. Period. Not even any of my own. It was just really long days.

But Kayli and I actually did have fun. I went to the beach with her family on Saturday, on church on Sunday I pretended to be Brett's polygamist wife again since my husband was gone. (In college, always hung out at Kayli's, and was referred to as Brett's other wife. Hee. Hee.) Then on Monday we braved the Metra/El with the help of my friend and went to the Field Museum. Awesome!!!! I can't wait to go back and look through their ancient Americas exhibit. We spent our time looking at dinosaurs and the stuffed animals. So that was my last couple of weeks. And just because, here's a tidbit for the day.

Although modern standard Italian is used all over Italy, it is very few Italians' first language. Most speak one of the 15 regional dialects as their first language. In a fine display of the power of the pen over the sword, the Tuscan dialect established dominance not because Tuscany was a greater military or financial power than other Italian regions, but because the 3 great writers of the Middle Ages, Dante, Boccaccio and Petrarch, wrote in the Tuscan dialect.